My Father

A year and a half ago my father died of prostate cancer. He got this cancer six years ago and fought it for five years. At the time I heard he had cancer I went to visit him. I lived in Southern California and he lived in Bend Oregon. When I made the trip up there and saw him I was shocked. He looked like a skeleton and was in great pain. He hadn’t started his chemotherapy or radiation treatments yet but was on painkillers. I was so distressed that his brother moved away from Bend just a few months after he knew about my father’s cancer. That meant that my dad had no family there to care for him and his needs.

Before I went back home to California I asked my dad if he would like me to come up to Bend and live with him. He said, no that I wouldn’t like it there. I said, why not, and he said, because it’s to cold and it snows a lot. I told him that it didn’t matter and that he needed someone to take care of him. He smiled and said, “I’d love for you to come here and live with me”. So I went back home, quit my job, told my family I was moving to Bend to take care of my father and within two weeks, I drove to Bend and shipped all my stuff up there.

Before I arrived in Bend I started to get scared and didn’t know why. I hadn’t seen my dad in over 6 years and before then we really weren’t that close and I really didn’t know him. I was going to live with a stranger and a sick one at that. I had quit smoking for ten years but I stopped at a store before I entered Bend and bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked two. I started to cry and said to myself, “what am I doing?” I never felt so lost in all my life. I quit a great job, left my family, friends, and church and moved one thousand miles away. I was devastated! I finally got back in my car and drove to my dad’s house. We hugged one another and sat in his living room. We just looked at each other for a while and then we ate without talking much. I asked him if he had the spare room fixed up and he did and when we went to look he had a little foam mattress on the floor for me. When I laid on it I felt like I was lying on the floor and thought this isn’t going to work.

Now I lived with my father when I was fifteen years old until the age of seventeen. I put him through hell with my drug use and skipping school all the time. We weren’t close because of this and fought a lot. I had many friends in high school but I lost contact with all of them. Later while at my dad’s house I looked in the phone book for some of my friends and found one. I called the number and Joani answered. I said, Joani this is Rene. She couldn’t believe it. I told her I was living in Bend with my dad and asked her if there was a good church to go too. She asked me if I was a Christian and I said yes. She said, praise the Lord out of all my friends, I never thought you would ever be saved. I laughed and said yes, the Lord was merciful and pulled me out of the mess I was in and saved me.

Now my dad wasn’t a Christian but I brought him to church where we met up with Joani and her husband Daniel. Joani and Daniel also had a teenager named Brenn. It was a good day reminiscing the old days and it was nice to know that I was not a lone and that I had a friend to rely on. Joani was shocked to hear about my dad’s cancer and they helped us anyway they could. The first thing they did was to get me a decent bed.

While I was looking for work and sending out resumes at my dad’s house, in our spare time we cleaned his house. He lived there for twenty years and I swear he never dusted in all that time. We had to take every dish out of his cupboards and wash them all by hand. He didn’t have a dishwasher. He lived in an older home out in the woods. As we cleaned we started to talk. I talked about all the trouble I caused him when I was younger and asked for his forgiveness. He instantly forgave me and told me he always feared I would end up dead from taking drugs.

We started to get to know each other and religion came up. I asked him what he believed in and he said reincarnation. I said, so if you die you would come back as someone else? He said yes and I said, why would you come back? He told me that we come back to the earth to do better than the life before so we could be good enough to finally go to heaven. I told him that Jesus Christ died at Calvary once and for all. It is finished. He died for all our sins and if we believe in Him and repent He will forgive us and if we ask Him into our life He will come and give us the Holy Spirit who teaches us all things. I had a bible and I asked him to read it. He said no at first but then he said, I’ll read it if you quit smoking. We agreed and he started in Genesis. He had so many questions and I gave him the answers and a good commentary to follow.

I prayed for him day and night for his salvation and for God to speak to him through His word. My prayers came true when one day my dad came up to me and said he asked Jesus into his heart. I was so excited I called everyone I knew to tell the good news. I said dad, the angles in heaven are celebrating your salvation and he said do you think so and I said I know so.

He started radiation and was on it for a while and then they started his chemotherapy treatments. The doctor’s weren’t optimistic of the outcome and the cancer was spreading fast to his bones. I hated to see my dad waste away like he was and then one night I had a dream. I dreamt I was talking to someone and out of the corner of my eye I saw a man walking up to me. I thought he looked familiar but wasn’t quite sure who he was. When he was standing right in front of me he smiled and I thought to myself, what a beautiful man. Then I realized that he was my father. His hair was jet black and thick like it used to be and his fair skin was without blemish. His blue eyes sparkled like gems and his smile was so radiant that I couldn’t get enough of him.

When I awoke, I sat up startled and knew that God just showed me my father in his glorified body. It was the most beautiful dream that I ever dreamt. When I saw my dad that morning I told him about the dream and he became so excited asking all kinds of questions. Was my hair thick like it use to be? Did I look healthy? Were my eyes blue and not swollen? How old was I? I told him he looked perfect and that he seemed to be in his early thirties. It reminded me when Jesus came back to his apostles and they didn’t recognize Him at first. When they did, He still looked like Jesus but was somehow different, a better different. That’s how we are all going to be gang. We’ll look the same but different. Younger, stronger, without blemish we’ll be perfect just like Jesus is.

Later, my dad took a turn for the worse. He could no longer get up and he would wet his bed. I would shower and dress him and feed him but he didn’t have an appetite. I finally called his hospice nurse when things got real hard for me and she came over and we took him to hospice. I called all my friends, good friends that I met while living and working in Oregon and they all came to the hospice center and we stood around my father’s bed and held hands and prayed. I always prayed for a miracle for my dad to get well and he did to but one day I told him that if he wasn’t healed here on this earth, he will be healed in heaven. I called my sister who lived in California and told her dad was in hospice and he wasn’t going to last much longer so the next day she said she’d fly out. I called my uncle and he and his wife came and stayed at my dad’s house. After being with my dad I finally went home to get some sleep. At 2:00 AM I got a call from a hospice nurse saying that my dad’s vitals weren’t good so I went down there.

When I walked in to his room there were candles lit and soft Christian music playing in the background. It felt so comforting and peaceful that I just took my father’s hand and began to pray. My dad gasped a few times and as I stroked his hand I told him to go and see Jesus, to take His hand and to go to heaven and Denise my sister would understand. My sister hadn’t arrived yet. My dad took his last breath and died. I lay beside him on his bed and cried for a time. I called my uncle and a friend and they came down to be with me. My sister arrived the next day.

We had my dad’s funeral and I spoke of how he became saved and how happy to know that I was going to be with him in heaven one day. In fact, most of my family is saved which is a miracle in and of it self.

After the funeral, my sister stayed with me for a week and we looked at pictures of dad and of ourselves when we were little. We had a good time together and when she left, I had to think about what to do with my dad’s house.

Soon after my dad died I lost my job at First American Title. I was laid off and I wasn’t sure what to do. I remember my dad telling me that he hated Bend because of the cold winters and short summers. I had a lot of close friends in Bend but I too hated the cold weather and didn’t know whether to stay or not. Most of my family moved from Southern California to North Carolina. They told me I should come up there and at that point I wasn’t sure because of my friends and church.

While I collected unemployment I stayed at my dad’s house for a while cleaning it out and getting rid of stuff. One afternoon on a snowy cold day I looked out my dad’s living room window and decided then that I would move to North Carolina. I wasn’t going to stay in a town that I didn’t want too. I called my mom and she flew out to Oregon and we drove back to North Carolina. I sold my dad’s cars, planes, and furniture and said goodbye to my friends and we left. It was sad but I knew I was doing the right thing.

Today when I look back at the time I spent with my father both of us knowing he was dying. We would both make light of it and talk about Jesus and heaven. My dad loved it when I told him what heaven would be like. He never got to finish the Bible. I think he was in Luke when he died. But I know that my dad was at peace knowing that he was going to a better place.

It took a long time for him to get saved and a lot of talking on my part and God blessed both of us by his salvation. When I think about those days with my father I feel honored to have spent the time I did with him caring for him, laughing with him and crying with him. We were very close and I’d have to say that he was my best friend.

Even today I think about calling my dad but then remember that he is no longer there. But I know that he is with my grandma in heaven and she was probably the first person he met at the gate. I can’t wait to see my father again and to rejoice with him in heaven. It will be a glorious day and I am honored that God used me to plant the seeds of his salvation. Praise be to God forever and ever. Amen

If you are interested in taking care of a loved one who is terminally ill and not saved, please feel free to visit my website at: http://www.truelifelivingbooks.com. There you will find many books on death and dying and sharing the gospel with others.

Thank you and God Bless...